Little Miss Homo Sapien's Cave

Loser, Hater, Bitter… Bring It On

I must admit that there are times when the idea of selling out crosses my mind.

You know, when you move about in a hub where everyone is doing the same thing, it can get you thinking that maybe it is just really you who’s got personality issues and not the rest of the humanrace. Like for example maybe people who have Facebook and Twitter are not really as attention whores as I think they are. Maybe Facebook is really fantastic and that it’s just really me who’s a hater. And so lately I’ve been thinking, holy god, if that person that I like is all over Facebook and a figure I look up to has Facebook too, then maybe I am just a loser and should sign up now?

This is a pain for me to ponder about because I’ve always known myself as that fish who always goes against the current. But on the other hand, me being a trend-upsetter,  I’m thinking, am I unintentionally closing myself out of countless opportunities and other sunny probabilities? Like maybe, for example, if only I would get myself a Facebook account I would gain these hordes of “friends”, or that maybe if only I would relent my views about today’s pop culture and not be too uptight then maybe I would avoid suffering from apoplexy. Things like that.

What does it mean to be a sellout in this day and age? Does being one really any different from being  “disposable”? Loosely I understand it to be as someone who compromises her integrity and dignity for fear of not belonging. You know, joining the “in and new” thing because f*ck, everybody hates anything that has to do with out and old; anyone who claims to like out and old today must only need desperate attention. And so what I’ve noticed is that even the truly gifted indie artists, filmmakers and musicians have allowed themselves to be manufactured because the times we’re in have convinced them that is the only way to survive and put food on the table.

And then they justify this trend behavior of them as “not being selfish”.

Yes, I could go on and on trashing them for selling out, maybe because unlike me they have kids to feed, and damn they will do everything for their kids so of course when it comes to that talk I just have to back off. But again, I have to say this: why did we allow in the first place our art to starve us and superficiality to provide for us?

In the present standing of our lovely earth where despite of its advancement in technology and human intellect there still remains that little curious global hitch we can’t seem to get out of our systems: inequality. One way or the other we have to have other people need to “sell out” first before they could enjoy the basic necessities of life. Men have to stoop to degrading jobs first before he could feed his family; women have to peddle their bodies first before they could send her siblings to school. Money, money, money. And more money. It’s the root of all evil and yet we can’t live without it.

Okay, maybe not inequality–scratch that. Let’s say it’s more of justice that we can’t give ourselves in this privileged times–but we’ve recently given ourselves Tila Tequila, Ke$ha, Kardashians. Because it’s true that it is quite unfair to cry for equality when you have people who work hard and people who just freeload on the former’s blood, sweat and tears, so let’s agree on justice: IT IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. You have all these great but starving artists because it’s the Justin Biebers who are raking it all in. And then we ask, why? Well you can’t teach people to have good taste because for one, good taste is relative and two, humans have been notorious for not being big fans of thinking with depth so works with heart and soul in them are not widely-disseminated. Yeah, why ponder upon the Fibonacci Series when you can just delude yourself of Lady Gaga’s uber-coolness?

This generation: It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

All of sudden the image industry became the breeding ground for money. Television is the number one responsible for it. Television taught people that if you don’t have the right packaging for viewers who have nothing better to do with their lives than meddle in the lives of made-up characters, then you might as well be a no-one. It’s the consciousness that a million people are looking at you now, and you don’t want to look like a troglodyte for sure; the concept of being sized up by complete strangers suddenly became a big deal. Suddenly everyone wants to be acceptable in the eyes of the polluted minds, and began conforming to a society that is at best one massive bullshit. Its ideas essentially went against the principles they personally adhere to, but it’s too late: they’ve been hypnotized into marching to its mad beat of Beauty, Image, Fame, Power, Money and Youth, and suddenly thinking and following yourself makes you, among other things, an atheist, a hermit, an outcast, a leper, a homosexual, a pariah.

And it is in the height of the bankability of everything shallow that the money-grabbing empires began emerging out of the woodworks: they got wind of the modern stink it lives in and came up with with various offers of strategic brilliance that people wouldn’t be able to say no to: Turn your back on your beloved passion and here comes the supremacy of money to make you forget of things that truly matter. And true enough the response has been overwhelming, and not to mention the amount of investment the respondents were ready to waste away in the name of veneered commodities.

So am I being sober when I say that the idea of selling out crosses my mind, or is it just my sarcasm taking in full effect again because I heard Justin Bieber is going here in the Philippines? No, I’m not being sober. Because I’m a loser. A hater. Bitter. Eat your heart out, modern world.


7 responses

  1. Love that painting…it looks like a scream, yes it does! I am one of the last that gives into things as well. It took me forever to give into facebook. And yes, I enjoy hooking up with people from my past, friends, family, and bloggers. However, at this point I refuse to use twitter!

    19/01/2011 at 03:53

    • Sometimes I forget that there are still folks like you who do social networking for wholesome reasons. 😉

      By the way the painting above is by Jackson Pollock. I like that it’s open to endless interpretations.

      19/01/2011 at 18:56

  2. seeker2008

    nice post!

    22/01/2011 at 03:58

  3. Wow. I’m speechless. But I can absolutely agree to most, if not all, of what you said. It’s just that it’s so lengthy and full of passion that I simply do not know what to say right after reading it. 🙂

    One other thing, dear. Please tell me you’re not going to see Bieber (on purpose) when he gets in the country. Please. 😀

    23/01/2011 at 22:05

    • I appreciate your patience of going through this piece. 😉

      About the Bieber thing, well, I have the habit of annoying myself so yes I might just go and see his concert. ^^

      23/01/2011 at 23:39

      • My pleasure.

        Aw. Oh well. If you’re going, then you had better enjoy.

        I’ll wait to hear from you the next time you post. 🙂

        24/01/2011 at 00:24

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