Rainy Days and Sundays (always get me down)
It’s been a downtrodden day. Except of course for Manny Pacquiao’s victory over Sugar Shane Mosley that has all the Filipinos around the world in a festive mood, there’s nothing else really for me to happy about.
My sister left again the country this afternoon after a 2-week vacation. Up until the very last moment I kept all the emotions inside me and brushed aside the nagging thought that soon I won’t be able to see her again for a long time. I didn’t accompany her to the airport this time; our eldest brother and a battalion of her friends did. I made a lot of gibberish excuses just so I won’t see her board the plane and ultimately leave.
All throughout me helping my sister pack up her luggages I was trying to avoid looking at her, as I knew something melodramatic would burst out of me if I did. So when the moment came for her to say her goodbyes and turned to me to give me her last tight hug, I gave in. If you knew me you’d be surprised to see me teary-eyed and that despondent, because contrary to popular belief I’m actually a cheerful and lunatic person, always the life of the party, but just don’t show to anyone my overly and annoyingly emotional and sentimental side, which is a top secret of mine. And if you knew how my sister is to me as a big sister and how close we are, you’ll understand why my top secret betrayed me this afternoon.
It doesn’t help that the whole day has been rainy and gloomy. Last night when it poured like cats and dogs I welcomed it as an answered prayer, as the insane sweltering heat of the summer has gotten into me and turned me into a hot-headed b*tch. As I only found out a while ago there’s a typhoon in the country, which is more than I asked for (I don’t mind going back to hell mode now; I heard there are a handful of casualties already). Right now it’s still raining non-stop and the strong winds are sending my curtains to crazy fits, and the overall atmosphere outside is funereal – and it is only accentuated by the occasional gurgles of thunder lightning up the drearily ruddy nightsky.
The air sneaking in from the window is cold and breezy, and for the first time this year the air cooler is turned off.
I’m getting distracted. As usual, I’m going to play music in the background as I lie on bed to further distract me, as too much silence can drive my mind nuts and bring my thoughts back to the recent events that took place in my life, particularly the ones where the people I love left me – and I’m not just talking about my sister.
I hate goodbyes, which does not come handy for a person like myself who leaves a lot herself. The problem is I’m very loyal, attached and affectionate to family and friends (and some other human beings), so how should I go about it if my loved ones are constantly on the go and I myself want to go away?
What little creativity I possess, my sister vacuumed during her stay. She was like a tornado who messed up all of our schedules because everybody had to adapt to her bizarre body clock and long list of things to do while she’s here, and now that she’s gone us her family and friends (who use me as my sister’s proxy in their outings and food trips) are placidly dejected. But she’s happy with what she’s doing now, so we could only cheer her on. My sister and I will see each other soon, I’m sure.
A couple more minutes and it’s another week for school, work and an appointment to the doctor; hopefully by tomorrow my Muse, which my sister scared away, will return and a scaffolding for a not-so-crappy verse will take shape. In the meantime when I wake up 6 hours later I will try my best not to dwell on emo things and just let myself get carried along in the national celebration over Pacman’s win.